The Amazing Adventures of Motochika and Narichan!
by In Soviet Russia
Summary: The day-to-day life of Motochika, whose antics often involve - and annoy - his neighbor Motonari. AU. It's probably gonna be a crackfic. Rated T for Motochika! XD
1. Motonari, Meet Gumby

_**Author's Note:**_ OK, so I was looking through the (four XD) reviews I got on my fic 'Keiji Gets a Job', and I saw one from Gravism about their liking the Motonari/Motochika relationship going on there... and so I was inspired to do _this_! Also, I don't know too much about adopting pets, so don't get mad if I fuck something up! And if that last sentence's language offended you, 1) I apologize, 2) most of my fics are worded in a similar manner, so you might not want to read them, and 3) this is one of them, so just stop here. XD Jashin, I need to stop. :P

The Adventures of Motochika and Nari-chan!

Motochika blinked for a minute as his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. God, what time was it? He looked down at his wrist (which was a nice shade of light pink) before realizing he didn't have a watch. Damn.

Judging by the sun's position, it was around noon or one o' clock. Wait... the sun? He looked around and realized that he had been passed out on a white plastic chair on his front lawn. That would also explain the slight sunburn.

Motochika ran a hand through his (messy as hell) hair before standing up and trudging over to his front door. He unlocked it and walked into the refreshing air conditioner, then made his way to the living room and plopped down on the couch. Hmm. What to do today?  
Probably nothing, as usual. How boring.

He grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV. He watched an hour or so of the Wiggles, then switched to a cheesy horror flick playing on HBO. Motochika sat there staring blankly at the screen for the better part of an hour before it finally cut to a commercial break.

"Hi, my name is Sarah McLachlan..."

Adventure!

By the end of the commercial, Motochika's face hadn't changed in the slightest.

...OK, well, _maybe_ there had been a tear. Or two. You know, _manly_ tears. Of manliness.

Alright, fine, Motochika was outright fucking sobbing.

"*sniff* I... I -hic- have to b-be an angel... for a poor, defenseless -hic- animal," he said through a tissue. "I have to *sniffle* adopt one!"

As soon as he was done blowing his nose and had dried his tears (mostly), he opened his laptop and searched for the nearest shelter. Perfect, there was one two miles away from his house!  
Well, it'd be perfect... if he owned a car.  
But Motochika was determined to adopt an animal, dammit, and... wait.  
It _was_ perfect after all. He would just need a little cooperation on his neighbor's part...

Adventure!

"No."

The brunette in front of him had his arms folded across his chest, wrinkling the green t-shirt he was wearing.

"But but but! Nari-_channnnnn_! I have to go! Sarah McLachlan told me!" Motochika whined, making a pitiful face at the other.

"It's _Moto_nari, you hoodlum! There is no '-chan'! Stop calling me that horrible nickname!" Motonari snapped. "Besides, I can't even trust you with a lawn gnome; what in the name of the sun makes you think you can handle a pet?"

"Pssht! I'd be the most badass pet owner ever! T'hell are you talkin' about!" Motochika countered, his pride wounded a little. How dare Nari-chan doubt his skills!

"No, and that's final. There is no way I'm driving you to the shelter."

Motonari turned and began walking to his front door. Motochika huffed and scrunched up his forehead in frustration.

"...Don't make me hotwire your car," Motochika mumbled.

His neighbor, who turned out to have rather sharp ears, spun around to face him again.

"Beg pardon?"

Adventure!

Motochika rushed through the shelter doors like a five-year-old on Christmas.

"Nari-chan, where should we look first? Which one should I pick? Ooh, look, that puppy looks friendly! No, wait, that one! Aww, look, he's wagging his cute little tail!"

Motonari rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying not to outright facepalm. He had known this would be a bad idea, but he supposed it was always better than risking Motochika stealing his car and driving it into a pole. Besides, this way he could keep an eye on him and make sure he wasn't too much of an idiot in public.

He turned back to face his neighbor, who had his face pressed against the glass. He looked more excited than the puppies inside, actually. It was kind of cute, actually... -Ahem- Cute in a... umm... a stupid way. Because Motochika was stupid.

Motonari coughed loudly into his hand to alert Motochika to the woman standing next to him. Motochika reluctantly shifted his focus from the dogs to the lady. She smiled at him (Motonari suspected she was flirting), then introduced herself as one of the volunteers and asked if she could assist him. He flashed her a big grin in return, then said something with exuberant hand gestures. Whatever it was, it must have been funny, because she started laughing (in fact, she laughed so hard she had to lean on him for support. Hmm. Motonari rolled his eyes).

The brunette walked closer to listen in... err, keep a better eye on his neighbor. You know, make sure he didn't make an ass of himself.

"Well, you seem like a really nice and caring person who'd make a great pet parent," the woman began. Motochika used this opportunity to shoot a pointed look at his neighbor. "I'll show you the pets that have been here the longest, the ones that no one has wanted to adopt... if that's OK with you, of course."

"Hel- I mean, yes, that would be just fine," the pirate caught himself at the last minute.

The woman smiled again (her nametag identified her as "Nat"), batting her eyelashes at the silver-haired object of her affections (it was so obvious she was hitting on him), but he was too busy grinning smugly at Motonari to notice.

Nat led the way through the rows of adorable little kittens and puppies, each of them crowding around the glass pane separating them from the group passed by. They eventually arrived at a locked door. She quickly produced the key, humming to herself as she did so.

Once inside, it was easy to see why these poor animals hadn't been picked. There was one dog that immediately rushed to the very back of its cage, baring its teeth at Motochika when he got too close, then a cat who hissed and swatted at Motonari, who swore a little under his breath before regaining his composure. It looked pretty hopeless.

"See any you like?" Nat asked, genuinely hoping that this dreamy... err, kind man she had met would be able to give one of them a home.

"Hmm... Not yet, but give me a min- hey! This one's cool!" Motochika ran to a small cage at the back of the room.

"Oh, I'm not sure about that one. It's not really-" Nat began, but it was too late.

"Hello, little birdie," Motochika cooed, crouching down a little to get a better look at the parrot in the cage. It leaned forward to try and nip his finger, but he pulled it back just in time. "Tsk, bad birdie! No biting. Huh, you're a pretty bird, though, aren'cha?"

The parrot tilted its head to one side, then the other, carefully examining the person in front of it. Eventually, it decided that it did in fact like this human. It then proceeded to open its mouth and-

"**HEY ASSHOLE!**"

Motonari, who was on the other side of the room, nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden outburst(but he was able to hide it, of course). Nat looked mortified.

"I'm sorry! That's why I didn't want to... This one has quite the vocabulary..." her face turned a bright shade of red, and she looked down at her feet in embarrassment.

The silver-haired man was awestruck for a moment. He just stared at the parrot, mouth agape.

"**WATCHA LOOKIN' AT FUCKFACE?**" the bird squawked, head tilting again.

Motochika was still for a moment longer, then finally turned to Nat. "It's... This bird..."

Nat started stammering out apologies for the bird, thoroughly embarrassed in front of her crush.

"...is perfect! It's so majestic... I must acquire it!" Motochika knelt down next to the cage again, watching intently as the bird fluffed up its feathers and began preening. "How much for this glorious beast?"

"Well, I'll... I'll have to ask..."

"Yes, do. I wish to take Gumby home with me."

The girl nodded, too shocked at Motochika's enthusiastic attitude to question him, then ran off.

It was silent for a moment.

"So... what's Gumby?" Motonari inquired, honestly curious.

"The parrot. I have named it Gumby," Motochika replied offhandedly, too absorbed in watching his soon-to-be pet clean its brightly colored feathers.

For the umpteenth time that day, the brunette rolled his eyes.

Adventure!

"Whew, about time we got all that paperwork sorted out!" Motochika said, grinning widely as he carried the cage back to his neighbor's car.

"Yes, yes, wonderful," Motonari deadpanned, starting the vehicle and mentally groaning at the thought of having _two_ foulmouthed friends – no, neighbors (since when has Motochika been his friend? He set his lawn gnome on fire!) – to deal with. "You'd better not leave any feathers in my car, hoodlum. Am I clear?"

"Yeah, yeah, chill out Nari-chan! I got this."

"What have I told you about calling me Nari-!"

"Hey, if you can call me 'hoodlum' and 'idiot' then I can call you Nari-chan."

Motonari growled and rolled his eyes yet again.

By the sun, Motochika could be so _difficult _sometimes.


	2. What are you doing in my house

_**Author's Note:**_ Right then. For the remainder of summer break I'll be updating this pretty regularly. Well, I hope so (the only other option is homework, and to that I say **_NEIN_**). Anyway, I'm not used to writing, so don't be too surprised if this starts getting a little wonky (wonky is a fun word XD)...

The Adventures of Motochika and Nari-chan!

Motochika hummed cheerily to himself as he hunted through the cabinets to find a mixing bowl and some flour. He reached over a pile of other ingredients as he retrieved a whisk from a tall metal cylinder that held a wide assortment of cooking utensils.

He searched the drawers until he found some clips to keep his hair out of both his eyes and the food while he was working. He closed the drawer as quietly as he could. It was around seven in the morning, after all. He didn't want his neighbor getting mad at him (again).

He checked the piece of paper in his hand. "Preheat oven to 375 degrees... Okay... Next."

Motochika reached for the mixing bowl, but it slipped out of his hand and crashed to the ground. _Shit._

He knelt down and picked it up as fast as he could, praying that Motonari didn't wake up. This _was_ his house, after all.

Wait, what? That's right. Motochika had broken into Motonari's house at seven o' clock in the goddamned morning so he could bake some fucking cookies. Why? Because he was out of flour. He had brought everything else with him.

The silver haired man started pouring in the brown sugar, then added the butter and sugar before stirring it all together. Of course, half of it got on him, so he tried to scrape it off his shirt and back into the bowl. Most of it went in, so he figured it was good enough and continued.

He added the sour cream and egg, then continued stirring with all his might. Just then, he heard a loud beeping noise coming from upstairs. It sounded suspiciously like an alarm clock.

"Fuck fuck fuck," Motochika said, panicking. He swiveled around several times, unable to decide which way to run. Realizing the bottles of vanilla extract and cherries were still in his hands, he dropped them in the sink and jumped behind a couch.

A moment or so later, Motochika heard footsteps coming down the stairs. _Shit_, he thought to himself, crouching down even lower behind the piece of furniture. Nari-chan would _not_ be happy with him.

There was a loud yawn, followed by the sound of feet dragging across the linoleum and into the kitchen. Shortly after, there was a cough of surprise. "What the...? Why are there cherries in my sink? Wait... I don't even have cherries. Where did these come from? And why is my oven preheating?"

It took Motonari a moment before he finally pieced it together. Someone was in his house, and he was 99% sure he knew exactly who it was.

Adventure!

"You still haven't told me why I found you behind my couch with a bowl of... what is that?" the brunette asked, annoyed yet mildly curious.

"I'm making cookies! Can't you tell?" Motochika replied, holding up the mixing bowl so that it was right in Motonari's face. He wrinkled his nose a bit and pushed the Motochika's hand away.

"That's wonderful. Now, why are you doing this in _my_ house?"

"Well... I was kinda, umm... Out. Y'know, of flour."

The glare aimed at Motochika's head intensified.

"Sorry..?"

Adventure!

Somehow, Motochika had managed to worm his way out of the situation without being killed. Also, Motonari was wearing an apron. (Why? Because I do what I want!)

"Idiot, pass me the flour and baking soda," he snapped, obviously getting impatient. "This is the second time I've asked you. This was you idea, so pay attention and see it through to the end... Hey! Stop eating the cherries!"

"I can't help it," the other mumbled around a mouthful of said fruit. "They're so delicious!"

There was a loud sigh of frustration as the shorter man handed his companion the mixing bowl and whisk. "Stir this. I need to find a cookie sheet."

Motochika did as he was told (for once), stirring as if his life depended on it. Meanwhile, Motonari was submerged in a monstrous pile of Tupperware that had fallen off the shelf.

"Need some... uhh, help?" the silver haired man asked, noting the size of the pile.

"I'll be fine," his neighbor replied. Then, a hand burst through the side, pointing at the counter. "Add the cherries and chocolate chips. Oh, and don't forget the pecans."

The hand retreated back into the pile with a rustling sound, and the room was quiet again. Motochika picked up the specified items and carefully added them to the mixing bowl, then continued stirring. His hand was starting to hurt.

"I found one," a voice from behind said right into his ear.

"HOLY SHIT BITCH FUCK!" Motochika shouted, spinning around. It was none other than Motonari, holding a large flat piece of metal.

"Language," the brunette chided.

"But you... Tupperware... How?" the taller of the two rambled, pointing back and forth between the untouched mountain of plastic containers and his neighbor.

"Well, obviously I got out from under it. Now, did you add everything?"

"I... Yeah. It's all pretty much done. We just need to put 'em in the oven."

"Alright then. Now, get some spoons and help me put them on the cookie sheet..."

Adventure!

"Motochika, did you set the timer?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I smell smoke."

"FUCK FUCK FUCK-"

Adventure!

Finally, the two had successfully made a batch of decent... well, edible, cookies.

Motonari selected a considerably less burned one and took a tentative bite, watching in half disgust and half awe at the fact that Motochika was absolutely inhaling them.

"How can you eat those so fast?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Easy! It's because they're delicious!"

"Really now."

"Yeah! All food tastes good when you eat it with friends!" he replied, shoveling down another few cookies. "Besides, you look _dead sexy in an apron_."

Then Motochika busted out laughing at his own wit.

Motonari could only blush in embarrassment and facepalm.

_**Author's Note (Again, Sorry):**_ The things Motochika's trying to make here are Chewy Cherry Chocolate Chip Cookies. I would type out the whole goddamn recipe here, but I have a feeling that would not be cool, so, yeah. If you actually do want it (for whatever reason), just ask and I'll try to get it to you. Oh Motochika. He should never be allowed around ovens XD


	3. The CRAZY PARTY

_**Author's Note:**_ I figured I'd update again while I still could. School starts in two weeks, which normally wouldn't be a problem ("I put the 'pro' in procrastination"), but it turns out that, as a special surprise for my senior year, I have ten fucking classes instead of the usual eight. To make it worse, four are HCC courses. That means I'm skipping lunch to go to HCC. Fuck! XD Anyway, I'm sure I'll still be able to update, but it will take longer, so... bear with me :P

The Adventures of Motochika and Nari-chan!

"Get the fuck out of my way, **asshole**!"

"I shall not allow you to pass, in the name of OYAKATA-SAMAAA!"

"Guys! Guys! Stop glaring at each other like that! No fighting in the house!"  
"Fine then! A duel!"

"That's bad, too! GAAAH! IDIOTS! **WHICH ONE OF YOU HIT ME?**"

Motonari looked on in practiced apathy as Keiji tried to keep Masamune and Yukimura from killing each other over a game of Mario Karts in their host's living room. There was the sound of glass breaking as a slightly shitfaced Ieyasu came stumbling through the door, mumbling something or other about bonds and dropping a beer bottle as his friends tried to keep him from falling on his face. Just then, he turned sharply, vomiting onto a nearby jacket.

"IEYASUUU! That was a gift from Lord Hideyoshi! **I won't forgive you! YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS WITH YOUR LIFE!**" Mitsunari yelled furiously at his drunken roommate.

"**Shit**, Motonari, where do you keep the batteries? My controller's 'bout dead." Masamune swore from the front room.

"Aha! Will you accept your defeat, then?!" his opponent called, adjusting his headband.

"Never. **Come on!**" the other replied enthusiastically. Then, there was a crash. "...**Shit**."

Motonari rubbed the bridge of his nose. That sounded an awful lot like one of his potted plants. He turned to the man next to him, who seemed to be shrinking into his seat.

"Tell me, Motochika. Why are all these people in my house?" he asked in a misleadingly calm tone as he dodged a knife thrown by Magoichi.

"CHALLENGE ME, IF YOU DARE!" she screamed at the now terrified partygoers (except Ieyasu, who was far too drunk at this point to care).

"W-well, you see..." Motochika began.

Adventure!

"Hey, Masamune. You up for a hanging out tonight?"

"Is there gonna be a **crazy party**?"

"Uh..." Motochika mentally scanned his list of friends. Well, there sure were a lot of crazy _people_. "Sure, sure. Crazy party. Fucking _insane_."

Which they were.

"**Cool**. I'll be there."

The line went dead as Masamune hung up.

Motochika ran a hand through his hair as he pondered who to call next.

Adventure!

"Umm..."

"I want you to know something, Chosokabe," the brunette said, inhaling.

"And what would that be, Nari-chan?"

"**I am going to kill you and hide your body in the woods.**"

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

Adventure!

Motonari sat on the couch, which he had moved to be right in front of the bathroom Motochika had locked himself in. After all, his neighbor had to come out eventually.

And he would be there.

**Meanwhile, in the living room...**

Gumby was a hit. Masamune was absolutely in love with this parrot, as he found its vocabulary both colorful and hilarious.

"Hey, someone get Tsuruhime! She likes birds, right?" he giggled, as he had the maturity of a six-year-old. Kojuro, who was behind him cleaning up the potted plant mess, took a moment to facepalm.

"SQUAWK! **GODDAMNIT!**" the bird shrieked, rubbing its head rather affectionately against Masamune's hand.

"Look, he likes me!" he shouted, grinning. "Hey, pretty birdie, how 'bout we get some snacks?"

"I have a feeling this is going to end badly," Kojuro muttered to himself.

Of course, he was spot on.

Adventure!

"**FUCK! **IT'S IN THE SPINACH DIP!"

"Well get it out, then!"

"I CAN'T! IT'S TOO SLIPPERY!"

"SQUAWK! **WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!** SQUAWK!"

"Birdie, hold still! We will get you out of the dip! We promise!"

Gumby continued to wriggle around in the bowl, thoroughly coating himself in spinach and mayonnaise.

"Goddamnit! Keep still for a bit, you tricky little bugger-"

Just then, Gumby launched himself out of the dip, flipping the bowl over on the counter. He flew for a short distance, weighed down by the gunk stuck in his feathers, then crashed into the sink, flailing about in a desperate attempt to free himself.

He eventually clawed and pecked his way back onto the counter, the did a weird hop-flap dance across the kitchen and onto one of the tables.

"Quick! Yukimura! Help me catch 'im!"

"I accept your request!"

"Oh god don't let it near the nachos!"

There was a crunching noise and more angry squawking.

"**Shit!** What the fuck did I just say!"

"Catch it! Catch it!" Tsuruhime cried, freaking out at the sight of a cheese-and-spinach-covered Gumby trying to peck her shirt.

Masamune dove for the parrot, knocking over a bowl of chips in the process. The force of the One-Eyed Dragon's landing once again propelled Gumby into the air, which sent him flying into Mitsunari.

"_You... _**I'll kill you!**"

"Fuck! It hit Ishida! He looks mad! Bail out! BAIL OUT!"

And that, essentially, was how Mitsunari joined in the bird hunt.

Adventure!

About an hour later, Gumby had been caught. It was at this point, when the clock read 2:37 AM, that everyone decided it was about time to be getting home.

"'Night, Motochika," Masamune called back into the house as he stood in the doorway. "**Crazy party.**"

"Thank you for inviting me, Chosokabe-dono! It was a most wonderful event. I bid thee goodnight, Chosokabe-dono, Mori-dono!"

"This country will -hic- be united with our bonds!" Ieyasu said matter-of-factly, then sneezed and fell on Keiji.

"Oi, give me your keys," Keiji sternly told his rather plastered friend, then looked back into the warzone that was Motonari's house. "Oh, yeah, thanks guys. I had a great time! Gotta drive this guy home... See y'all later!"

One by one, they all filed out onto the porch and into the street.

A few minutes later, the bathroom door slowly creaked open and Motochika peeked out. "You still mad, Nari-chan?"

"Oh, there are no words for my level of rage... Besides murderous," Motonari replied somewhat offhandedly as he surveyed the damage. "It would seem you have some rather violent friends, hoodlum."

"I'm not a hoodlum!"

"And I'm not 'Nari-chan'."

There was a pause. "I've decided. I really _am_ going to kill you." He turned towards his neighbor, radiating a rather menacing aura of death and despair despite his perfectly composed exterior.

"H-hey! Back up! I just wanted to throw a birthday party for you, Nari-ch... uh, Motonari! Don't bury me in the woods!"

Motonari stopped, putting down the knife he had somehow acquired. "Excuse me?"

"It's your birthday, remember? I thought it would be fun for all of us to hang out! I mean, it didn't look like you were busy or anything... You listening? Hey! Stop ignoring me when you ask me a question!"

"My birthday, huh? Let's see..." he stopped and thought for a minute. "You're right. It is... Speaking of which, how did you even know that?"

"Oh, I saw it on your calendar the last time I broke in," he replied. "Do you really not remember your own birthday? That's like, kinda sad."

"The 'last time' you broke in..?"

"The cookie incident! THE COOKIE INCIDENT! You were there! Oh god - put the knife back down!"

"Oh, right. The cookie incident," Motonari groaned in annoyance. "Never again."

"Yeah, yeah!"

"Well then."

"Mhmm, I think I'll just be going now-"

"Chosokabe."

"Y-yes?"

_Don't stab me don't stab me don't stab me..._

"I have changed my mind. I will not kill you and bury your body in a shallow grave somewhere in the woods. I suppose it is the thought that counts when it comes to these kinds of things..."

"Gee, thanks! How nice of you!" Motochika said, clearly relieved.

"...But you're cleaning my house."

"What!"

"This mess was a direct result of your actions. Therefore, you can take responsibility for it."

"But!"

"No buts. Be here tomorrow at 9 o'clock sharp," Motonari said, glaring at his neighbor. Sensing the other was about to open his mouth and complain, he added, "That is, unless you'd rather start _now_. Which I would have no problem with."

"...Fuck."

_**Author's Note... Again:**_ Yeah, I feel sorry for Motochika (I won't lie, I started laughing when I pictured Motochika having to clean Mori's house. Maid outfit (god why)! XD) I watched Last Party yesterday night... well, _veeery_ early this morning, which is why Mitsunari and Ieyasu were in this. They're roommates because I couldn't resist making it so. Man, I bet the hangover's gonna be hysterical... Whew. Dying. What is air.


	4. The Great House Cleaning

_**Author's Note:**_ Just got time to update! Fuck yeah for winter break! I think I managed to escape from school with no homework, so I decided to work on this instead! I know I haven't updated for, like, eons, and I'm sorry. I had those ten classes to take care of – and I got two A's and two B's in my four college classes! :D OK, I'll start (cough -try- cough) writing now... _

The Amazing Adventures of Motochika and Nari-chan!

"You're late, hoodlum."

Motochika groaned inwardly at the sound of his neighbor's voice.

"Well, I might have been a little less late if you'd at least unlocked the door! I had to pick the lock!"

Motonari was unfazed by this. "Yes, yes. I was aware that you possessed that particular skill set, so why waste effort when it's not necessary?"

The silver haired man just shrugged exaggeratedly, too tired to really carry on an argument. He yawned. "Alright, let's get this over with. Where the fuck do I start?"

"The kitchen. It's still covered in spinach and bits of nacho."

More groaning.

Adventure!

Motochika let out a huge sigh of relief as he finally managed to finish dusting, sweeping, and mopping the entire first floor. He leaned against the counter, exhausted, as he was not used to cleaning anything... _ever_.

The brunette, who had been carefully monitoring his progress, nodded his approval. "Excellent. Now, come straighten up the living room."

"Awww, but Nari-chaaan! Can't I rest for just a minute?!" the taller one protested.

"The sooner you finish, the sooner you can relax," Motonari replied, skillfully evading the question.

Motochika swore under his breath, but gathered up his little bucket of cleaning supplies and followed his neighbor into the living room nonetheless.

There was an overturned sofa, an impossibly skewed rug, a toppled DVD rack, and several important-looking wires strewn about on the floor. He felt his heart sink. Judging by the large collection of movies (that, knowing Motonari, which he did, probably had to first be sorted by genre and then alphabetically), this particular room would be his hell for at least an hour.

He first righted the couch, dusting off the cushions and returning the throw pillows to their original positions.

Next, he shifted all the furniture off the rug in question, then somehow managed to get it back to where it belonged (with some verbal guidance and support from his neighbor, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor across from him and being amazingly unhelpful, in Motochika's opinion).

Then, he had the time of his life trying to figure out where the fuck all the goddamn wires had come from, and then, how to reconnect them. He actually almost managed to strangle himself when an unnoticed wire wrapped its way around his neck and left arm. After much swearing, this grueling task was complete.

Finally, the moment the silver haired man had been dreading: _the great sorting_. He was crying on the inside when he turned to ask Motonari, "How do you want these arranged?"

"First, sort them by genre, then organize them alphabetically," his neighbor replied somewhat offhandedly as he started eating some of the leftovers from the Cookie Incident.

"You actually _liked _those?" Motochika asked, somewhat astonished, as he sat down and began separating everything into piles. "I thought you said they were the most disgusting things you'd ever laid eyes on."

"Besides you, of course," Motonari remarked sarcastically. "They're... an acquired taste, I suppose. I've grown to enjoy them."

Motchika ignored the jab aimed at him, instead deciding to take pride in the fact that his picky neighbor actually liked something he had made. He started sorting again, this time with a goofy smile on his face.

Adventure!

"Hey, Nari-chan, why do you have so goddamn many chick flicks?"

"I find them most entertaining. Keiji got me into them."

"HA! He was probably trying to use them to teach you that bullshit about '_the power of LOVE!_'" the taller of the two replied, almost perfectly imitating Keiji's voice. This got a laugh out of Motonari.

"I'm sure. Is he still trying to hit on Magoichi?"

Motochika thought for a minute, putting down the romantic comedy he was holding. "I think so. Dude needs to learn when to give up. The chick's completely batshit."

"I think she just acts that way to try and dissuade him. He rarely leaves her side," Motonari responded. "Wouldn't you go to extreme measures, if you were in her situation?"

"Hell no! I'd just be like, 'Hey, I'm not interested, bro' and be done with it. Keiji's kinda thick-headed when it comes to this sort of stuff, so she needs to be direct with him."

"Hmm. I see. So, what is your opinion on..."

And this is how the two of them ended up laying on the floor and gossiping like school kids.

Adventure!

"Oh shit! It's been like seven hours!"

The brunette rolled over, then stood up to check the clock on the stove. "You're right."

"I know I'm right! I've been sitting around for... Blargh! I still haven't even finished with the DVDs!"

Motonari sighed. "Fine. Move over."

Motochika scooted to the side, allowing his friend to huddle up beside him.

"Motochika. Hand me that movie."

"Yeah, sure thing Nari-ch- err, Motonari."

He leaned forward to grab the case of a movie called "Mystery Men". He passed it over, then went to get a few more. With the two of them working together, it went by a lot more quickly. Soon enough, they had finished. The metal rack stood in its old space once more, filled with painstakingly organized DVD cases.

"Anything else I have to do?" Motochika asked, adjusting his eyepatch and running a hand through his hair.

"Umm..." Motonari paused. "I... I don't believe there is. Unless you'd like to help me fill in the hole in the wall from where Magoichi threw that knife yesterday."

"Sure, why not."

Adventure!

"No! NO! DON'T GO IN THERE! IT'S A TRAP!" There is the sound of screaming as a chainsaw starts up. Blood goes everywhere. "GODDAMNIT!"

Motochika tries to wrestle the remote away from the brunette, but he's quicker than he looks. He jumps to the other couch as the silver haired man leaps at him, instead crashing into the back of the sofa. "YOU KNOW I CAN'T WATCH SCARY MOVIES AT NIGHT!"

"That I do. However, this is my house and I like this movie, so we're watching it."

There's spooky music playing now, and Motochika is getting scared all over again. He grabs a quilt from the basket beside the sofa and hides under it for a while, peeking out when the music stops. Suddenly, the killer jumps out from within a closet, attacking his hapless victim. Motochika lets out a bloodcurdling pterodactyl shriek before darting back under the blanket.

Motonari found himself chuckling at the sight. "I'm going to go make popcorn. I'll be back in a minute."

"_Don't leave me,_" the heap under the covers hissed.

"I'll just be in the other room. You'll be fine," Motonari insisted, rolling his eyes. "Don't destroy anything while I'm gone."

As soon as the smaller man left, everything went downhill. The TV showed someone getting decapitated, then someone else's limbs being torn off. Motochika almost threw up when it got to the nail-pulling scene.

Needless to say, Motonari returned to a sobbing mess on his couch, who was gibbering something about needles and hot chocolate.

Motonari shoved his friend's foot aside to make room for himself. "Here. Want some popcorn?" he asked, holding out the bowl.

"I'll never eat again," Motochika stated flatly as he reached for a handful, at which the other scoffed.

After a minute, Motochika seemed to finally have calmed down enough to watch the remainder of the movie without screaming or crying hysterically. "Hey, Nari-chan."

"Don't call me that," the other replied immediately, more out of habit than genuine annoyance.

"It's not so scary when I'm not by myself," Motochika finished, reaching for another fistful of popcorn. "We should do this again. It's fun hanging out."

"Whatever. As long as you don't invite all _those_ people, as well... Unless you fancy cleaning my house again."

"Haha! **Never again.**"

And that was how Motonari and Motochika learned to tolerate and (somewhat) respect each other.

_**Author's Note (Again):**_ I can imagine Motochika going home and Gumby, like, pecking him really hard for forgetting about him all day XD Anyway, shitty ending is shitty, and I'm sorry for that :P


End file.
